be the lizard
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.
How's your back now?
be the lizard
Commonly confused medieval weapons, a powerpoint by me.
Now stop screwing them up, seriously, or I will put a medieval weapon in your head.
Tumblr is endearing me to being lectured at in Comic Sans
THIS is a WAR SCYTHE, a scythe actually used in combat. Notice it is not a useless piece of shit and is an actual functional weapon.
The only reason why death is pictured with a FARMING scythe is because he harvests souls.
now i can kill ppl and know what im killing them with thank you
The only reason I knew most of these already is because of the 3.5 DnD Manual.
if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me
So are you suggesting you turn in a resume to hell?
easter baby :+)
ATTN: you have been visited by the easter lizard.
1 like: the easter lizard will grant you good luck `for a year
1 reblog: the easter lizard will come to you in a dream and grant you one wish
I’M GONNA MESS SOME PEOPLE UP at my club with swords and stuff except it’s all play
HvZ is over but my will to fight is not
Surviving so far in this slaughter of a game of HvZ…. I hope to at least survive until the final mission day, but I’m thinking there’s a slim chance considering the increasing presence of zeds in the halls, half of which are specifically gunning for me in revenge for last semester.
who chooses the actors in infomercials
That last one is totally me
You have to admit the tape measure looks just a little possessed though.
Things I want to achieve next week:
Things that happen next week that might make the above stuff difficult:
I hate double integrals and polar coordinates so much.
People ask how the combat in Soul Eater works.
This is more or less accurate enough.
THE NOISE I JUST MADE
This sums up my life pretty well
I actually do this so many times in math I’ve dumbfounded math and chemistry professors alike.