LizardLord's Chaos Journals

RSS

byyourleave:

I don’t understand, it’s just a dude running with some musi—/SCREAMING

zombies-and-glitter:

Look at this dumbass.  There is no part of the mouse in his mouth.  He’s just got it squished between his body and his head.  I have no words. …

It’s like a reverse noogie

zombies-and-glitter:

Look at this dumbass.
There is no part of the mouse in his mouth.
He’s just got it squished between his body and his head.
I have no words. …

It’s like a reverse noogie

rate-my-reptile:

Ourm time has Arise

Go forth my minions

(Source: Washington Post)

hotidiot:

spectacularuniverse:

Sphaerodactylus nicholsi, one of the smallest geckos in the planet. (x)

This is amazing. Look how small it is. It has a heart and a stomach and a brain. And it’s this small

hotidiot:

spectacularuniverse:

Sphaerodactylus nicholsi, one of the smallest geckos in the planet. (x)

This is amazing. Look how small it is. It has a heart and a stomach and a brain. And it’s this small

found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

ironychan:

mischievousshota:

indevan:

simonjadis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

emeraldcharos:

wessasaurus-rex:

kikojaharo:

This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.

 ”What the fuck?” 

She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.

baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.

confused sharp bunnies

i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas.  alligators are literally stoners.  like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.

i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.

Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years.  They’re too lazy.

They’re too lazy

I was literally looking for this gif yesterday and now it popped up on my dashboard. thank you tumblr, thank you.

found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

ironychan:

mischievousshota:

indevan:

simonjadis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

emeraldcharos:

wessasaurus-rex:

kikojaharo:

This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.

 ”What the fuck?” 

She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.

baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.

confused sharp bunnies

i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas.  alligators are literally stoners.  like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.

i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.

Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years.  They’re too lazy.

They’re too lazy

I was literally looking for this gif yesterday and now it popped up on my dashboard. thank you tumblr, thank you.

these-little-things-oh:

sassy-gay-justice:

witchlingfumbles:

allthingshyper:

shadowstep-of-bast:

hate-my-human:

secretcallgirl:

kokilax:

randomizeyourmind:

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.”
Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.
When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.” 
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.

This is perfect

BLESS THIS PERSON

I BOW TO THIS INTENTION

Can we talk about how beautifully this turns rape culture on its head? Instead of “If they weren’t dressed like that they wouldn’t have been raped” THIS IS LITERALLY “IF THEY HADN’T TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE THEY  WOULDN’T HAVE SPIKES IN THEIR DICK”*

That bold bit~

tumblr, everyone.

these-little-things-oh:

sassy-gay-justice:

witchlingfumbles:

allthingshyper:

shadowstep-of-bast:

hate-my-human:

secretcallgirl:

kokilax:

randomizeyourmind:

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.

Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.

Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.

When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.” 

- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.

This is perfect

BLESS THIS PERSON

I BOW TO THIS INTENTION

Can we talk about how beautifully this turns rape culture on its head? Instead of “If they weren’t dressed like that they wouldn’t have been raped” THIS IS LITERALLY “IF THEY HADN’T TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE THEY  WOULDN’T HAVE SPIKES IN THEIR DICK”*

That bold bit~

tumblr, everyone.

spam-arts:

yall ready for hoenn i sure am

spam-arts:

yall ready for hoenn
i sure am

sassking-trevor:

cassbones:

lesbe-nerdy:

chanellecassidy:

saber-chan:

My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

this is too accurate 

*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*

*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*

Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate

REBLOG IF YOU’RE A DRAGON

(Source: steverogeres)

pewterkat:

small-flower-prince:

dreadpiratecherry:

gentlemanbones:





I have no idea what’s going on

Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.

pewterkat:

small-flower-prince:

dreadpiratecherry:

gentlemanbones:

I have no idea what’s going on

Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.

(Source: jonklassen2)

koncreates:

I gave Jack a bath today!  He looks so nice after getting all clean (And he loves the warm water to bits!)

I’m getting breakfast and we have no clean bowls and I don’t feel like waking one right now so guess who is eating a whole plate of applesauce.

Do you like lizards?

raptorific:

I used to buy SoBe all the time because I liked the glass bottles with the lizards on it

Jul 9
prestonhymas:


"AHH, WALTER, GET THE BUG"

"I am TRYING, HELEN”

IT LOOKS LIKE A FURBY

prestonhymas:

"AHH, WALTER, GET THE BUG"

"I am TRYING, HELEN

IT LOOKS LIKE A FURBY

(Source: daughterofthejoker)

Jul 7

chiltonomics:

pinatapup:

jadebloods:

sunshien:

halogenic:

have you ever had a dream that was so vivid it stuck with you in the back of your mind for years?

image

image

image

image

image

image

i have so many questions

this is another one of those posts where you just sit back and open tag viewer

image

We have a winner